The journey of Self-discovery: 5 things you should know
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Get to know yourself they say, spend more time with yourself, rediscover yourself … these are words we frequently hear especially after experiencing some sort of rejection, after childbirth, or maybe it's a major heartbreak for some. It is very common to hear people advise you to get up, heal and rediscover yourself. As I quite agree with this chain of action, I also believe the word self-discovery has become too overly used that it has lost its truest value. So, I believe there are a few things you should know about the self-discovery journey. Perhaps this might help the next time you get such advice or give you some clarity on what the journey truly feels like.
In this post, I will help you gain a holistic understanding of self-discovery by highlighting 5 important things to note about your self-discovery journey.
Understanding the term Self-discovery
A long time ago I was having a conversation with a friend and he asked me a question, it was more like him trying to understand a point I had mentioned earlier. “How come two people who were exposed to the same environment and situations turn out differently in life?” he asked. This is one of those questions where you want to think deeply before giving your answer since I am not yet a licensed psychologist.
As much as I would have loved to give you a detailed breakdown of my response, we do not have all day here. But the entire conversation led to one powerful point - we all have different unique assets. You and I are wired differently, with unique traits. I may be gifted with mental resilience while my best friend is gifted with a strong physical build. Our outcomes will then depend on how favorable or unfavorable the circumstances we were exposed is in relation to our unique traits.
For example, assuming Christine and Magaret were both born into a family of farmers. Christine is much stronger than Magaret due to her body size, she is more likely to do better in that environment since it suits her natural ability. Magaret, on the other hand, may struggle, even though she is naturally a great dancer. Except other factors are introduced into their lives, Christine will always have an upper hand in that environment. (The names and story are fictional)
This is why the journey of self-discovery is very crucial. To know who you are, and what you are made of, to understand how your environment/upbringing has shaped you so that you can swim in comfortable waters or overcome the stormy waves of life requires self-discovery.
According to the dictionary, Self-discovery is defined as the act or process of achieving understanding or knowledge of oneself, becoming aware of one's true potential, character, motives, and the process of learning more about yourself and who you are. To me, Self-discovery is not an option, it is a duty to one’s self. You owe it to yourself the knowledge and understanding of who you were made to be. I strongly believe this is the greatest act of self-love.
Ok, this post is about 5 important things you need to know before embarking on a self-discovery journey so let’s get right into it!
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5 things to note about your Self-discovery Journey:
1. It is an emotional yet logical journey/experience.
2. It is a belief-altering experience
3. It doesn’t end with you
4. It requires dedication
5. No information is good or bad, just mere facts.
It is an emotional yet logical journey.
Only a few people wake up one day and decide to explore who they are. I tell you… It is very rare. Self-discovery always begins with a trigger – emotional triggers. It could be something you read, or saw, or heard, or a feeling that left you curious about who you are or who you could be.
I remember this particular moment in my life when I started getting a lot of compliments from people around me about how I eased their worries and support them through tough times with my words and funny character. In fact, I had a high school friend who told me about how she always recalls a song I taught her in high school whenever she feels down.
I had never given it a thought that I was doing something significant in the lives of people close to me. Amidst all these compliments, I had just given birth to my second child and I felt like I needed to be more than all I had going at that phase of my life. Then one day, it all came together! A thought hit me and I asked myself why I haven't explored this part of me. So, one thing led to the other, then came the idea to start my YouTube channel and the rest is history.
Check around you, the people who inspire you all had their triggers, and I bet it was something that affected their emotions. They didn’t just get to where they are now. No, it wasn’t a case of I woke up like this. After all, the goal of self-discovery is to explore who you are and what you have. It’s about becoming not about how you started.
However, emotions alone cannot sustain you on this journey, you need more. You and I both know that emotions are fickle, they don’t last. That’s why I always recommend having a coach to guide and support you on your journey.
It is a belief-altering experience.
Self-discovery can either change what you know about yourself or affirm what you believe to be true about yourself. Who you are is shaped by what happened to you. Your upbringing, cultural norms, moral standards, the environment, religious beliefs e.t.c. and quite frankly, none of these factors were your choice, they were handed down to you. Either by your parents, guardian, or peers. Everything you have been exposed to up till now is what shaped you.
To embark on a self-discovery journey means you are choosing to question what happened to you (your experiences) and form new principles or beliefs for yourself, either by accepting and deepening your old beliefs or creating new beliefs for yourself.
For example, if you grew up convinced you are a shy person, then you get to a new environment and get so outspoken that everyone loves being around you. If you decide to dig deeper into the sudden change of personality, you are likely to find that an event occurred in the previous environment that made you recoil into your shell, giving you the idea that you are a shy person. Once you figure out the reason behind your belief, you realize that you see yourself differently and create a new identity for yourself.
I started becoming more of my own woman when I grew deeper into my faith. A better understanding and relationship with God changed the way I saw myself and empowered me to be the evolving woman I am now. Although I grew up in a household of mixed religious beliefs, I chose to deepen my faith as a Christian.
The journey of Self-discovery exposes facts, not good or bad experiences.
I believe that one of the reasons a lot of people avoid spending time with themselves or getting to know themselves is because they are afraid of what they might find. No one wants to relieve sad memories, right? Well, I’d like to help change that mindset for you because I believe there is power in your story… regardless.
On your self-discovery journey, so many experiences will be recalled and accessed which shouldn’t be classified as good or bad. Every experience produces lessons, every lesson gives cues or references for the future. What you are doing is examining all your experiences to gain a perspective of who you are and who you could become.
Your experiences play a role in your personality, mindset, and character (even though it’s tough to see the beauty in challenging situations). Approach your self-discovery journey from “a fact-gathering” perspective rather than a “ good or bad” perspective. Remember, it’s an emotional yet logical experience.
It requires dedication.
You have to make up your mind to start and stay on this journey of self-discovery. It could take some of your time, energy, and maybe resources. You could even lose relationships. It is a journey of determination and focus. There are a lot of things that could distract you in the process, e.g. technology, scarcity mindset, your old ways, addictions, noise e.t.c. It must be a decision you make on your own and you need to make time for yourself. Remember, you are a grown woman, it should take some time to get to know you better.
Self-discovery doesn’t end with you.
Yes, you read that right. How do you know what you are capable of if no one examines you? Have you ever seen or met or heard about a successful person who made it in isolation, without unleashing his/her value to the advantage of someone else? Have you? Exactly, I thought so too.
Your self-discovery journey is complete when you find yourself, discover your unique asset/value, and realize how you fit in to shape your world. When you discover yourself, you need to share. Your existence eases someone else’s life as much as it makes you happy. Don’t stay isolated, share!
When I discovered how my mind works, in analyzing life issues, solving life puzzles, and helping people become better… I was on a roll and it doesn’t feel right to withhold.
Final thoughts: Self-discovery is a lifetime journey. With new levels come new challenges, which leads to stretching that leads to a discovery of new capacity. Don’t let the process weigh you down. It’s not as hard as it seems. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter to get simplified tips and resources to guide you on your journey. Need help? Find some here! Again, self-discovery is the greatest act of self-love.
You are amazing!
“To me, Self-discovery is not an option, it is a duty to one’s self. You owe it to yourself the knowledge and understanding of who you were made to be. I strongly believe this is the greatest act of self-love. ”
